Controlling The Tongue

How do we control our tongues?

First, do we recognize what impact our words have on others? Second, do we recognize what impact our words have on ourselves? Third, do we recognize what the outcome of negative words will be, not only to others, but to ourselves, as well?

We seem to live in a world where it is highly respectable to voice your opinion without regard to the effects of what those words create.

After reading, RT Kendall's "Controlling The Tongue", I ran across key points for conversation. Included below will be a key point and a verse to corroborate God's teachings that are associated with these problematic areas. 

Don't Blame!  Romans 2:1

 "If you judge someone else, you have no excuse for it. When you judge another person, you are judging yourself. You do the same things you blame others for doing."

No Pity Parties!  Genesis 42:36

Their father Jacob said to them, “You have taken my children away from me. Joseph is gone. Simeon is gone. Now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is going against me!”

Give God the last word!  Proverbs 16:1

"People make plans in their hearts.
But the Lord controls what they say."

Do not manipulate providence!  Proverbs 21:30

"No wisdom, wise saying or plan

    can succeed against the Lord."

Do not always try to prove that you're right!  Luke 16:14-15

(The greatest freedom is having nothing to prove...Pete Cantrell)

14 "The Pharisees loved money. They heard all that Jesus said and made fun of him. 15 Jesus said to them, “You try to make yourselves look good in the eyes of other people. But God knows your hearts. What is worth a great deal among people is hated by God."

Do not try to prove that you are stronger!  2 Corinthians 13:4

"It is true that Christ was nailed to the cross because he was weak. But he lives by God’s power. In the same way, I share his weakness. But by God’s power I will live with him to serve you."

Don't compare yourself to others, thinking that you're better.  Luke 18:11

 “The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself. ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people,’ he said. ‘I am not like robbers or those who do other evil things. I am not like those who commit adultery. I am not even like this tax collector."

Do not speak out of fear!  Philippians 4:6

"Don’t worry about anything. Instead, tell God about everything. Ask and pray. Give thanks to him."

Do not lose your temper!  Proverbs 16:32

"It is better to be patient than to fight.

    It is better to control your temper than to take a city."

Practice total forgiveness!  2 Corinthians 2:10

"Anyone you forgive I also forgive. Was there anything to forgive? If so, I have forgiven it for your benefit, knowing that Christ is watching."

So, the mantra that we should remember before speaking is always NEED

N--Is it necessary? Do I really need to say this right now?

E--Does it emancipate? Will my words set them free or make them a prisoner of anger?

E--Does it energize? Will my words provide them with the energy and ability to cope?

D--Does it dignify? Will my words make this person feel significant or will it make them feel small?

Reference Verses:

2 Peter 2:9

1 Corinthians 13:5

Romans 12:19

Psalms 37:8

Proverbs 16:32

Colossians 4:6

1 Peter 3:9

Proverbs 29:11

Jeremiah 17:9

Walking On Egg Shells

I have been married 3 times. And in each marriage, I have felt like I was walking on egg shells with my spouse.  I never felt like I was enough or that I did enough to please my spouse. 

After each divorce, I wondered why I felt those emotions.  

Why do we feel that we are not enough or that we do not do enough to please each other? 

The answer is quite simple: You're trying to please the wrong person. If you're both trying to please God with your thoughts, words and actions, then you will have less turmoil in your marriage.  

The moment you leave God out, even just for a few minutes, you open the door to Satan.  And he loves a good fight.  He loves the strife, the hatred, the anger, the turmoil, and the utter resentment that he can cause in your lives.  

So, what do you do when you feel an disagreement coming on? Do you clam up and refuse to argue, effectively shutting down communication?
Do you immediately latch on to the other person's faults and start in on them, deftly avoiding the real reason for the disagreement? Do you immediately start yelling and screaming so you can be heard first? 

What should we do when we feel a disagreement upon us? What's the first thing that a married couple should do during this time?

Try this the next time you feel a disagreement coming on between you and your spouse:

Take each other's hand, sit down, bow your heads and pray.  Pray together that God will give you the answers that you need in order to resolve the conflict. Do NOT stop praying until you feel His peace and His presence.  Stop Satan in his tracks by inviting God into your disagreements with the person you have bound your life to forever.   Give God the reins, ask for your next move with Him right beside you, and then take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.  Look at your spouse now.  What do you see? Do you see the person that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with? Do you see the person that has been beside you during your best and worst times?  Keep those things in mind as you both seek to resolve the differences.  

As for me and my sordid past, I want to remember that.  If I ever get that chance to have someone in my life again, I want to remember to get God in on everything.  If He's there in the beginning and is the focus, and if you both keep Him the focus, then the huge mountains that seem impassable become little hills that you can climb together with His guidance.  

Just remember the next time you resent your spouse or you think that you regret being with that person or you think hurtful things about that person: Why are you NOT getting on your knees with that person to get to the heart of the matter?  Why? Because you're letting Satan drive. Revoke his license and give God the wheel again.  

Quit walking on egg shells and start collecting those eggs together. Fill your basket with love. His love. Your love for one another. 

The Whole Enchilada

I've always heard the saying "Two halves make a whole."  But, do they where human beings are concerned? (Matthew 6:24)

I think the saying originated concerning human relationships. However, I believe that God did not make us a half where relationships are concerned. We are only incomplete without God!  (Colossians 2:10)

Once we have accepted Jesus Christ into our hearts, we become whole! And when we are whole and in God's word, we can accept another person into our lives!   (Romans 12:1-2)

The Bible speaks of love 281 times! We seem to spend our whole lives searching for love, when it is right under our noses. God's love is infinite! God's love is complete and unfailing!  (Psalms 136:1-3)

Am I saying that a relationship is something that isn't required by God?  
(1 Corinthians 7:9)

God does not pair us all up.  Read your Bible. Does each man have a wife? Or each woman have a husband?

I am stating that you must have God in order to have a lasting, loving relationship with another human being. How can you grow together if you are not both born again Christians living in God's word? You can not. You will become stagnant. (Consider the book of 1 Kings)

I really feel that, in order to find the person that God intends for you to spend your life with, you must have a loving, working relationship with Daddy, first. 
There is a tumblr floating around that I really like and that speaks volumes to me. It simply states, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him to find her."  There is beauty in simplicity and this says it all.  But, on the other side of that, it works the same for men, also. 

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  Matthew 6:33

God bless you all in your walk with our Savior and in your journey to find your mate.  He will provide.  (Philippians 4:19)

Turning Water Into Wine

On my way to take my beautiful babies to school this morning, I asked them if they had ever read the scripture of Jesus turning water into wine.  And they said, "No, Mommy. What's it about?"  I told them that tonight, at our devotional at home, we would cover the story.  
(On the third day there was a wedding. It took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there. ² Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. ³ When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

⁴ “Dear woman, why do you bring me into this?” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.”

⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Do what he tells you.”

⁶ Six stone water jars stood nearby. The Jews used water from that kind of jar for special washings to make themselves pure. Each jar could hold 20 to 30 gallons.

⁷ Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” So they filled them to the top.

⁸ Then he told them, “Now dip some out. Take it to the person in charge of the dinner.”

They did what he said. ⁹ The person in charge tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He didn’t realize where it had come from. But the servants who had brought the water knew.

Then the person in charge called the groom to one side. ¹⁰ He said to him, “Everyone brings out the best wine first. They bring out the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink. But you have saved the best until now.”

¹¹ That was the first of Jesus’ miraculous signs. He did it at Cana in Galilee. Jesus showed his glory by doing it. And his disciples put their faith in him. 

John 2:1-11)

As I am researching the story, I remembered it was about a wedding falling short of drink. His mother brought the problem to His attention and His response was, "Dear woman, why do you bring me into this?"  

In reality, we should bring Jesus into EVERYTHING in our lives. When we do, something miraculous happens. We see blessings where, once, there were problems. We see opportunities where, once, there were stumbling blocks.
We see love where, once, there was doubt. 

His mother responds, to the servants, "Do what he tells you."

Now, let's look at that. REALLY look at that.  "Do what he tells you." It's so magnificently simple. It's so breathtakingly comprehensible. WHY is so hard for us to do?   That's simple, as well. We are too busy trying to control every little detail in our lives. Do you doubt His blessings? Do you doubt His love? Do you doubt His penchant for turning water into wine? Somewhere, in the backs of our minds, we do.  We have to have the absolute, ultimate faith in Him. HE WILL SEE US THROUGH AND LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY. He does NOT want us to fail. He wants us to succeed and bloom in His love!

He tells the servants "Fill the jars with water."  

That water is faith. Faith that He will do as He has said in His word SO MANY TIMES!  Fill your jar with water, my friends. Fill it to overflowing. Faith in so much abundance is where your journey will begin in the walk with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

The person in charge commented on how you have saved the best until now. 

Indeed, we seem to save the best for last in our lives. Jesus is a second thought, an after thought, until we have tried our humanly ways to solve a problem or overcome an obstacle. Why? Quite simple, again. We do not seem to want Him to prove Himself in our lives for fear of handing control away. Are we so blind as to what awaits us when we give the illusion of control to the devil and step towards our Savior on pure faith? Some of us, maybe. The rest of us, no. We are too stubborn, too selfish, and too self-involved to let go and let God. Do it. Do it now and without hesitation. You will be so glad that you let Daddy take the wheel. 

In closing, I'd like to share a small prayer that I pray when I feel that I have lost control...
"God, I am at a loss. I have tried my way yet again. And I am sorry. I ask You to take this from me and that Your will be done in every aspect of my life. Amen."

God bless you all and have a day where your water overflows into absolute faith!

Satan Is Determined

If you are determined to follow God and do His will, then Satan is determined to follow you and make sure that you fall. 

How do you determine what is good for you and what is bad for you? Do you read labels and compare ingredients? Do you comparison shop online before purchasing an item? Do you research the components of a certain item that you want and see where it can be purchased for the least amount?

For me, that approach seems to always lead to an internal battle and a massive headache at the end. I seem to be an impulse person. I determine what's best for me and charge right into it without a thought as to what the outcome might be in my life.

I believe that God has a plan for each person. He created each of us, not by chance, but by His own will. He holds our future in His hands. He has control, not us.

So, instead of "label shopping" or "comparison buying" or "bargain hunting", we should be on our knees praying for discernment in determining what GOD wants for us.  (Galatians 6:9)

This is where Satan steps in, big time.

He starts by putting doubts in your mind. 
"Does God really want me to do this or do I want do this?" 
And then he proceeds to up the ante, so to speak.
"Well, maybe I'm not hearing God right. Maybe He really wanted me to zig instead of zag."
And then he closes in for the utter down fall of your determination to follow God's will.
"How do I really know what God is saying? How can I hear him when I'm such a screw up? How can I determine what is right when I can't even make a good decision on my own."
On my own? On my own?! You can not achieve ANYTHING for God own your own. If you don't give EVERYTHING over to God, then you have defeated your cause before you even begin. (Philippians 4:13)

For myself, if I even have the slightest doubt or feeling that I am not living in His word and His will, I immediately pray. I pray until I feel Him, until I hear Him. I won't move until I can feel His arms around me. Then, and only then, do I feel safe enough to keep moving and striving and determining my next move.  (Psalms 27:14)

So, let's view it as a daily foot race. The ultimate goal is living in God's word. You have the starting line. Putting your foot on that line is a determination to serve the will of God.  Now, getting into position for the pistol to fire.  You hunker down and pull on all of your inner strength.  You harness your energy to prepare yourself for the mental, emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical onslaught that will be required of you to keep yourself in God's word.
The pistol fires...and you're off! You are now running in his word, but remember to pace yourself or you will tire and become weak, therefore allowing Satan to get in the door. You see your goal in sight! As you round the corner, you see the finish line coming into view. You use that energy that you've reserved to put that extra push in  your step and zoom past Satan, running through that ribbon that signifies the end of the race, or the end of your day.  (1 Corinithians 9:24-27)

At the end of your day, what do you want to feel like you've accomplished?
Determination is the only way to accomplish a goal. Why not make your goal to serve Christ in all that you do? Why not decide to be a blessing? Why not ask God for a better attitude, each and every day?

Seeking A Godly Partner In Life

I believe that God wants us to be happy and that He wants us to share that happiness with a life mate, a spouse.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14, it is made apparent that He wants us to join with other believers. It is His word that states "Can light and darkness be friends?"  No. They can not. So, first object in seeking a Godly spouse: Make sure that person holds the same beliefs. He wants those partners to be faithful to one another and make Him first. He wants the husband to leave his parents and cleave unto his wife. He wants the wife to be loving.
Now as to my specific list as to what I want in a mate, I can tell you this:
I want a Christian man, founded in his faith with God; A man who is honest and a hard worker; A man who is loyal and takes his role in the family seriously; A man who will be the leader in our household, spiritually as well as in other aspects.
My role, as a wife, a woman, would be to submit to my husband (Most women find that word to be offensive, in this day and age. It is not meant to be offensive. It is meant to be a declaration to your husband that you trust him and know that he loves you and will do the right thing for you, your children and your marriage.) and to raise our children in God's word; to make home a wonderful place, one that he looks forward to coming into each day; to love him and honor him and obey him (as the vows do state).
I have failed in this so many times before, but I do believe if I were to take on the role of wife again, it would be different because of my grounded faith in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.  I would make sure that we were both in His word and His command with each step of our relationship.  
I found an interesting little site that had such a wonderful read on God's words and our roles in finding a spouse. Won't you click it and read it?

http://www.bibleissues.org/spouse1.html


God bless you all and have a wonderful day!