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Since rededicating my life a few months ago, I have found a renewed strength and joy.
And now, my first REAL test.
My daughter is sick and is having an endoscopy tomorrow. I am so worried. Should I be? The reality of it is, as a Christian, I should not worry. I should turn my concerns over to God and trust His perfect will.
As a human being, I struggle with this, tremendously.
As human beings, we all struggle with one aspect of our faith. That stumbling block that allows Satan the slightest glimpse of a weakness in the armor that we are to put on in our lives that we have given over to God.
For me, that stumbling block is control. We all seem to harbor the illusion that we are in control of our lives. That is not the case, though. HE is in control of our lives. And it's only when we stop fighting against Him, that we can walk that much closer to Him.
I panic. I pray. I still hold on to the edge of that worry. It's an epic battle that I struggle with on a daily basis. If it's not my children, then it's my job. If it's not my job, then it's my finances. If it's not my finances, then it's my fears of inadequacy. Do you see the repeating pattern?
Now, as an intelligent person, I can see that pattern. I can use it as a didactic flow chart to show me where I keep on letting that ruthless fallen angel get his toe in the door of my life.
Does it prevent me from making that error? No. Sadly, intelligence and reason are not weapons against Satan. God is. Faith is. Belief is.
So, why is it so incredibly hard to let go and let God? Simple. We fear that God will prove Himself so incredibly in our lives that it would be impossible to NOT give Him absolute control. And, when it all comes down to it, control is the illusion, the lie that we keep wanting to feed ourselves. Without it, we simply have our faith to lean on. And we seem to be terrified of taking a step out on faith because we keep looking off at the storms and the crashing waves, instead of keeping our eyes on God.
So, with this is mind, I will simply have to keep reminding myself that I HAVE NO CONTROL...only God has that. And once I quit tussling with Him for it, He will do marvelous, wonderful feats in me and through me. I can be a shining light for His glory, as a witness.
"So don’t be proud. Put yourselves under God’s mighty hand. Then he will honor you at the right time. Turn all your worries over to him. He cares about you." 1 Peter 5: 6-7
The next time that I feel myself giving in to that lie of control, I will keep in mind that pride goeth before the fall. And I will memorize a wonderful passage of scripture given to me by my mentor, as a "go to" verse.
God bless you all.
