You're Making Me SO Angry!

Anger is something everyone has trouble controlling. I am so guilty of it. However, our feelings should not be dictators, but instead be indicators. 
We all want to put our best face forward to the world and show others that we are happy, well-adjusted individuals. What we should be doing is using the little FROG analogy. (Fully Rely On God) Through Him, our actions and our reactions are tempered into submission. 

So, we dig a little deeper into anger. What is anger? Anger is a negative reaction to someone or something who does not produce an expected result. If someone does something in a way we didn't think that they would handle it, we get angry with them. How dare they not do things our way?! How dare they not say what we wanted to hear?! How dare they not tell us that they are sorry AND mean it?!  And IF THEY DON'T...We feel unsure of ourselves, our reactions. And our fear turns into even MORE anger.  And that anger builds to a rage.  And all the while, we should be letting God turn our fear into dust. If we allow Him to take our fears away, then we do not have something that will ignite into a raging inferno at any given moment.

So, when we feel doubtful, the first thing we should do  is go to our Lord in prayer. "God, please take this/these fears away from me. They are a way for Satan to step back into my life. I give this/these fears to you, Lord. Your will be done. Amen." 

Now, I am so very imperfect. I've heard this saying before, "Perfectly imperfect." That's what we, as human beings, are. We are so perfectly imperfect that we forget our imperfections and just disregard God's way. I will be the first one to admit that I get angry and I say things that I later regret. That is something that I am working on. But, I know that I have a problem with it in my life. And I let others know, right up front, that I can be volatile when I reach the end of my patience. If we know, that's a chunk of the battle that we can put behind ourselves. The next step is going to God with our anger. I am trying my best to do this each time I have an episode. What I need to be working on, however, is going to God each time I have a fear and hand it to Him. 

God knows my heart. He knows that I am a bit of a control freak and that I have such a hard time of letting go of my fears and my anger. I picture Him putting His hand on my head and saying, 'My child, I know these things. I am here for you.'  And that brings tears to my eyes. I want to please God. I want my words, thoughts and actions to be pleasing to Him. And I think that's part of Christianity. That's the struggle that we, as His born again children, face. We want to please Him. 

So, the best thing that I have found, for myself, is to go directly to Him when I feel that anger monster rising and pray that little prayer. Because, quite simply, anger is nothing more than manifested fear. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not be afraid. I am with you. Do not be terrified. I am your God. I will make you strong and help you. My powerful right hand will take good care of you. I always do what is right. 

Starting Anew in Following God

Since rededicating my life a few months ago, I have found a renewed strength and joy. 

And now, my first REAL test. 
My daughter is sick and is having an endoscopy tomorrow. I am so worried. Should I be? The reality of it is, as a Christian, I should not worry. I should turn my concerns over to God and trust His perfect will. 
As a human being, I struggle with this, tremendously. 

As human beings, we all struggle with one aspect of our faith. That stumbling block that allows Satan the slightest glimpse of a weakness in the armor that we are to put on in our lives that we have given over to God. 

For me, that stumbling block is control. We all seem to harbor the illusion that we are in control of our lives. That is not the case, though. HE is in control of our lives. And it's only when we stop fighting against Him, that we can walk that much closer to Him. 

I panic. I pray. I still hold on to the edge of that worry. It's an epic battle that I struggle with on a daily basis. If it's not my children, then it's my job. If it's not my job, then it's my finances. If it's not my finances, then it's my fears of inadequacy. Do you see the repeating pattern?

Now, as an intelligent person, I can see that pattern. I can use it as a didactic flow chart to show me where I keep on letting that ruthless fallen angel get his toe in the door of my life. 

Does it prevent me from making that error? No. Sadly, intelligence and reason are not weapons against Satan. God is. Faith is. Belief is. 

So, why is it so incredibly hard to let go and let God? Simple. We fear that God will prove Himself so incredibly in our lives that it would be impossible to NOT give Him absolute control. And, when it all comes down to it, control is the illusion, the lie that we keep wanting to feed ourselves. Without it, we simply have our faith to lean on. And we seem to be terrified of taking a step out on faith because we keep looking off at the storms and the crashing waves, instead of keeping our eyes on God. 

So, with this is mind, I will simply have to keep reminding myself that I HAVE NO CONTROL...only God has that. And once I quit tussling with Him for it, He will do marvelous, wonderful feats in me and through me. I can be a shining light for His glory, as a witness. 

"So don’t be proud. Put yourselves under God’s mighty hand. Then he will honor you at the right time. Turn all your worries over to him. He cares about you."  1 Peter 5: 6-7

The next time that I feel myself giving in to that lie of control, I will keep in mind that pride goeth before the fall. And I will memorize a wonderful passage of scripture given to me by my mentor, as a "go to" verse. 

God bless you all.